


she'll never love you like me

by heroicgay



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cheating, Heartbreak, M/M, Secret Relationship, Songfic, Tension, but i promise the fic is good or at least i hope, kind of but not really, the summary is Trash because i didn't know what to put
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 09:57:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14892455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroicgay/pseuds/heroicgay
Summary: Whenever Thomas found himself tangled up in Newt's sheets, he'd say that would be the last time. Until now, it was always a lie.





	she'll never love you like me

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is kind of based off of he'll never love you (HNLY) by hayley kiyoko and curious by hayley kiyoko (mostly the music video tbh).   
> i really hope you guys enjoy it!

     “That was the last time,” Thomas breathed out as he pushed himself up from the bed.

Newt couldn’t help but roll his eyes before admiring the sight of the boys bare backside. With a smirk he was shuffling across the mattress and sitting on the edge of it, arms wrapping around Thomas’ hips as he kissed the center of his lower back.

“You say that every time, Tommy,” He chuckled softly against the warm skin.

The brunette broke out of Newt’s hold and began gathering his clothes, pulling up his boxers and sweatpants.

“But now I mean it. Things are changing for me. I have to start getting serious about my life.”

“You say that every time, too.”

“Newt, stop. I—My parents are really cracking down about my future.”

“Why can’t I be part of your future?”

Thomas huffed out a sigh and grabbed the pile of Newt’s clothes, placing them in his lap before sitting beside him. “You know why.”

Newt shook his head, “I really don’t.”

“No one will understand.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and scoffed at that. “Are you serious, Tommy? We’re living in 2018, for pete’s sake. Sure, there’s homophobes but people are more understanding now than they’ve ever been. You can’t just not live your truth because of a group of small minded people. The majority will understand and they’ll drown you in love and support. And those who don’t will learn to if you show them that loving men is no different than loving women.”

Visibly, he seemed to be considering and processing what had just been said. And maybe for a split second there was hope for them. Hope for a love that Newt (and Thomas, whether he’d admit it or not) had been craving so badly. When he spoke, all of that hope was broken into pieces.

“Breaking up with Brenda was a mistake. She’s good for me and—and my parents really like her. She’s got her life together. She’s gonna go far. Loving her….it won’t hold me back.”

Hearing that was the equivalent as a punch to the gut for the blonde. Hold him back? Is that what he’d felt Newt would do?

Sure, he hadn’t had it all figured out, but who truly does at twenty-one? Maybe Brenda did, but Brenda’s dad was also a wealthy businessman who had practically been grooming her to take over his company since she was old enough to understand the English alphabet.

And really, Newt liked Brenda. They’d gone to high school together and she was always incredibly sweet. But she wasn’t for Thomas.

Thomas was clumsy, impulsive, and emotional while Brenda was calculative, level-headed, and politic. They made no sense together. Everyone knew that. He vividly could recall multiple conversations within their friend group about how they could possibly be together. It was obvious that Thomas’ heart wasn’t fully in it, too. It was just a business deal and a way to keep his parents pleased. To uphold their family name.

Despite that, they’d been dating for three years until Thomas couldn’t hack it anymore and called it off. Newt was so proud of him when he’d done that. He thought that had meant he’d quit being some secret side piece and they could finally be. Except, that had yet to happen and the likelihood of it ever happening was definitely decreasing.

“You don’t love her, though. We both know that,” Newt finally responded.

“That’s not true. I do love her,” He protested.

“But not in the way you want everyone to think. You’re not fooling anybody. Especially not me.”

Thomas fell silent for a few moments, fiddling with his fingers as he avoided looking over to the boy beside him. When he spoke again, his voice was softer. Hesitant. “She loves me in _that_ way, though.”

“So do I,” Newt replied desperately. “And you love me, too.”

“I have to go,” Thomas sighed as he stood from the bed once more.

Newt set aside the clothes pile that sat in his lap, instead following behind the brunette while he was gathering his belongings as if he couldn’t get out of the apartment fast enough. He grabbed his wrist, preventing him from going any further.

“Are you really willing to live the rest of your life miserable because you’re too afraid to give this a shot?”

“There’s nothing to give a shot, Newt. You’re—This is nothing. We’re nothing.”

He wasn’t willing to give up that easily. This was worth fighting for. He knew it was.

“Quit lying to yourself. That’s complete bullshit, Thomas, and you know it. You think I never saw the way you looked at me in high school?”

“That was _high school_. Three years ago.”

“Yeah, and you still look at me that way.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Bloody hell, you’re so full of it. Look around you! Who’s fucking apartment are you in? Who’s sheets do you come get yourself tangled up when you need release? Who do you text until three in the morning when you can’t sleep? Who was the first person you came out to? Who tries to put all your broken pieces back together? Who helps you with every little problem in your life? Who comforts you when you cry? Who, Thomas? Because it’s sure as fuck not Brenda. You can fool your family, but you can’t fool me. This isn’t nothing. We’re not nothing. I love you, and you love me too. You don’t have to pretend around me. We can be together and we can be happy. You want that. I know you do.”

Thomas’ eyes were glossed over with tears as he intertwined their hands, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m sorry, Newt. I wish I could but I just…. _can’t_. I can’t be with you.”

Then he was pulling away and heading towards the door.

“If you walk out right now, don’t you even think about coming back. Don’t—don’t even text or call. Nothing,” Newt called out sternly.

He froze. “What?”

“You heard me. No more. You said this was the last time, right? Stick to that. I don’t want to hear from you. If you leave, that’s it. You leave for good. All of this is done.”

Thomas let out an audible sob, his grip on the doorknob tightening. For a split second, Newt really believed he might stay. Might choose him. He hated himself for always being so hopeful.

Without another word, Thomas was headed out the door, leaving Newt completely broken hearted.

 

—

 

“That guy over there won’t stop staring at you.”

Newt glanced over at Gally and shrugged, taking a sip from his drink. “Don’t care.”

“You didn’t even look,” The older male laughed.

“I don’t think looking would make me care any more than I do right now. I’m here with you. Unless you want me to go?” He grinned teasingly.

Gally shook his head, attention fully on Newt now. “No, I’m fine with this. Surely he can find somebody else at this damned party to fool around with.”

Rolling his eyes, the blonde chastely kissed the other’s lips before downing the last bit of alcohol in his cup.

“On a different note — do you dance?” Newt asked with a quirked brow.

“No, no, never. Usually I occupy myself in _different_ ways,” He informed.

It was impossible to miss the suggestiveness of that statement and it almost made Newt roll his eyes again but he refrained.

“Alright, well tonight we’re going to change that. Come on, tough guy. Let’s see what kind of moves you’ve got.” A smirk was pulling on his lips now as he took hold of Gally’s wrist, dragging him closer to the area where a majority of the partygoers were dancing.

Some song he’d never heard before was blasting through the speakers but the beat was distinct enough for him to quickly familiarize himself with it. Before he knew it, he found himself moving along with the song. He could practically feel Gally’s nerves, though. It was kind of adorable. To look at him, he looked like he could snap Newt in half with ease. Underneath the appearances, though, was an incredibly sweet guy that honestly made his heart skip a couple of beats every time their eyes met.

“Just breathe, mate. You’re making it a big deal up in that pretty head of yours for no reason. There’s no pressure, do what feels right,” Newt encouraged.

That seemed to take some of the pressure off because Gally finally began dancing as well, the confidence in his moves growing when he realized nobody was laughing or really even paying attention. Honestly, Newt couldn’t understand what he’d been so insecure about because he wasn’t a bad dancer at all.

He wrapped his arms around Gally’s waist and tugged him close enough for their bodies to be touching, earning a gasp of surprise that made him chuckle.

“You look great,” He whispered into the male’s ear. His gaze flickered around the room, stopping on a couple sat together on one of the couches. And he knew the way his movements stuttered when he realized _who_ he was staring at had to be noticeable.

God, it’d been months since they’d seen each other. But there he was  — Thomas, with an arm wrapped around Brenda who was sloppily kissing at his neck. She had to be drunk out of her mind. The brunette was paying no attention to her, though. No, his eyes were completely trained on Newt and Gally. Had that been who he’d seen staring him down?

“Hey,” Thomas mouthed.

Newt clenched his jaw.

It’d been two months since that day in the apartment. After everything, a small part of him still held hope that he might hear from Thomas. That he’d change his mind and realize that what they had was worth fighting for on his end, too. It never happened. He’d just started to accept that it never would, too, and now he had the nerve to….to do whatever this was.

Thomas’ brows furrowed at the lack of response, a hint of desperation and jealousy in expression.

He scoffed in response.

“You okay?” Gally asked with concern.

Newt met Gally’s eyes, nodding before quickly pecking his lips. “I need to go to the bathroom. Would you mind getting us some more drinks?”

“Of course, yeah,” He smiled, separating from Newt and pushing through the crowd.

The blonde waited till he completely disappeared from view before heading right for Thomas. Without hesitation, he took his hand and pulled him up off the couch, dragging him into the restroom.

“Newt, what—“

Thomas’ sentence was cut off by Newt crashing their lips together and hoisting him up onto the bathroom counter.

Part of him really, _really_ missed this. After all, he was in love with him and that didn’t just go away. But he wasn’t foolish. No, he wasn’t going to fall back into this routine. It made him miserable and he knew he deserved better than to be somebody’s secret affair. Though he wasn’t going to let Thomas’ last memory of him be him crying and desperate, begging for him to admit that he loved him back. No, this time he was going to be the one desperate and craving more from somebody he’d never get it from. He was going to make sure he knew what he’d missed out on. And then he was going to go back out there and forget all about him.

Newt worked to undo a few buttons on the brunette’s shirt, earning a throaty groan in response. He broke their lips apart and began kissing down his neck, stopping occasionally to pay extra attention to the spots he knew were sensitive.

“Fuck, Newt,” Thomas sighed, tangling his hands in the blonde locks.

He chuckled low at that and undid the remaining buttons of the other’s shirt, lips trailing a line from his throat all the way down to the waistband of his jeans. Brown eyes peered up through thick lashes to meet the gaze of a restless and desperate Thomas, clearly anticipating what was to come. His lips were parted and his brows were furrowed together, chest rising and falling with shaking breaths. Newt had to stop himself from laughing.

With a smirk, he stood back up straight and brushed their noses together.

“Do you think about me?” Newt questioned.

“All the time,” He nodded.

“Do you miss me?”

“All the time,” Thomas repeated.

“Good,” Newt replied simply with a smile before turning and leaving the bathroom.

It didn’t take long for him to find Gally in the crowd, holding two drinks and looking around cluelessly. His eyes widened when he spotted Newt.

“Hey! I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” He said, clearly relieved to have found his date.

“Sorry. Got a little lost. I think the other drinks we had are starting to get to me,” The blonde chuckled.

“You sure we should be having these ones then?” Gally smiled.

“I’ll be fine,” Newt grinned as he took his cup from the boy and began drinking.

Gally was about to take a sip of his own when he suddenly frowned, looking at something across the room.

“You okay?” Newt questioned.

“It’s that guy from earlier. He’s staring at you again.”

This time Newt decided to follow Gally’s gaze. It was Thomas, but he’d already known that it would be.

“Don’t worry about him, babe.”

“Do you know him?”

“Use to, yeah.”

“Were you….together?”

He let his eyes meet Thomas’ now, knowing fully well that he’d be able to perfectly read his lips as he spoke.

“No. He’s nothing. We were nothing.”

Thomas broke the eye contact with a wounded expression, sinking down in the chair he was sitting in.

_Good. Now you know how it feels._

Newt looked to Gally again, flashing him an assuring smile before pulling him in for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so so much for reading! again, i really hope that you guys enjoyed!
> 
> i'd love to hear ur thoughts & stuff so i'm gonna shamelessly plug my twitter @heroicgay!


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